Dịch
by Sherry Kent and Patrice Wooldridge
Interpreting something as a threat releases hormones in the brain, causing physical changes in the body, which can result in fight, flight or freeze reactions, along with the corresponding emotions, such as anger or frustration, fear or anxiety, sadness or hopelessness. Any self-judgment or conflict increases this emotional soup even more.
To address this mostly unconscious set of reactions, we worked a three-step process: recognize, reset and reframe, which we are calling the three “R’s”.
RECOGNIZE
Doing Push Hands can magnify reactions, emotions and self-judgments.
‘Recognizing’ allows us to take a step back and observe what is going on. Once there is a level of consciousness, we have the opportunity to then reset our physiology and to reframe our experience.
RESET
There are three documented ways of consciously resetting and we recommend becoming familiar and skillful with all three:
– Recognizing what happened and what your tendencies are is already the first reset.
– Breathe: pause, take a deep breath and breathe deeply and slowly. This is the second reset.
– Kinesthetic or “feeling” sense is the third method of reset. We use the feeling sense a lot in tai chi, for example by reconnecting to our body, our feet, or focusing in the dantian or on principle.
REFRAME
Rather than experiencing PH’s as the threat of being pushed, overpowered, attacked, or having to be the one who “wins” or be the one who is “right”,
we have the opportunity to reframe our Push Hands experience, (and actually all our relationships) into an opportunity to be sensitive, to be present and to listen. “Reframing” is not about denying what we feel, but is about reframing what our experiences mean and using the opportunity to reset after recognizing.
None of us likes to just be pushed around with force, however we all appreciate someone being present with us, listening to us (even if we are out of balance, and maybe even especially at that moment), being recognized, having a safe place to play, express ourselves and to grow. By recognizing our reptilian brain’s reactions and taking a few moments to reset, we reframe our own unconscious reactions as clear opportunities for learning and change.
Through the process of the three R’s, we work towards being able to change our unconscious “reactions” as quickly as possible into more appropriate “responses” to our partners physical, emotional and verbal expressions.
THE THREE R’S APPLY TO ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS IN OUR DAILY LIVES
By observing tendencies towards fight, flight, freeze, related emotions and becoming familiar with the three “R’s”, we are developing life skills that apply to all of our personal or business relationships. Now, that is a real win-win situation!
Note: if you are interested in learning more about this material, you have the option of inviting experienced teachers to offer local weekend workshops to your community. This can be especially helpful for updating apprentices and students unable to attend regular summer or winter trainings, as well as for those who would like the opportunity to practice more Push Hands together.
Working with Threat & Emotion
Thank you for beginning the blog discussion of this very core topic.
The three Rs
I have read this discusion point about the three Rs a couple times now and am still digesting the enormaty of the subject. What a great exercise it is to experience something and first to be able to recognize that I’m off balance rather than to just react (while out of principle) and then to reset (regroup and recover are other ways I see this step). Just that step is worth practicing over and over for me. It’s one thing to do it in our classes where we have a spoken vow of support for everyone but, to do it in the outside world where there is no such promise is even more difficult and important.
The reframing is for me a decidedly more long-term process. I imagine that when more and more reframing takes place the first R becomes easier thus shortening and speeding up the cycle.
Does anyone else have thoughts and/or obsevations on this?
reply to Bob
Thanks Bob for your comment. We will soon publish another blog post that briefly covers the material we explored at the Irish summer training. It is fascinating subject to explore and I’ve found it to be powerful in my own experience of Tai Chi and life.