Waiting in the Softness: Personal Reflections on Tai Chi and the Daodejing, Chapter 76

When I recently read this passage, it stopped me. The words felt ancient but alive. I had read the Daodejing (Classic of the Way and Virtue) before, but this time, something landed differently. Maybe because I was standing in a grounded posture, softening my body and breathing into my dāntián (center of energy).

Laozi, the legendary author of the Daodejing, wrote over two thousand years ago about the Dao (the Way), a natural and dynamic force that moves through everything. It is not something to grasp or control. It is something to feel, to follow, and to trust.

This idea of softness felt simple, but also mysterious. It made me wonder: what does it mean, in real terms, to be soft and yielding in tai chi? And how does this kind of softness relate to life?

Feeling into Softness

In tai chi, we often hear the word sōng, sometimes translated as relaxation. But it is not collapse or laziness. It is a release of what is unnecessary, so something deeper can emerge.

I have noticed that when I soften my chest, my breath deepens. When I let go of the tension in my shoulders, my awareness opens. When I let my weight settle through my feet, I feel more grounded. Not weaker, but steadier.

These small shifts change something. They remind me that softness is not passive. It is alert. It listens. It moves.

Strength That Bends

I think of bamboo. It sways in the wind without breaking. It does not get angry at the wind. It bends, listens, goes along with the force, and then, when the wind has passed, it returns upright with quiet strength. There is no resistance, no argument, no panic. Just presence, flexibility, and return.

That image lives in tai chi. The practice asks us to root, to soften, and to respond, not with force, but with awareness.

There is a quiet kind of power in that. A strength that does not need to overpower. It is supple, not submissive. Yielding, not weak. It waits, listens, adapts, and then moves in harmony with the moment.

My current class at the New York School of Tai Chi Chuan is an introduction to advanced tui shou (push hands or sensing hands). It is not about winning or overpowering. It is about staying in contact, feeling where my partner is going, moving with them, and returning their energy. When I resist, I become stiff and easy to push. When I retreat too quickly, I lose connection and leave myself open. But when I stay present and listen, I often find space, not just to respond, but to transform the interaction.

A Personal Exploration

The Daodejing says, “Those who are soft and yielding are the disciples of life.” That line stays with me. It feels like an invitation, not a rule. One I keep returning to.

Some days, softness comes easily. Other days, it feels far away, especially when I am tense or trying too hard. But tai chi gives me another chance each time I practice. A chance to soften, even a little. To listen. To move from a quieter place.

This is not a philosophy to master. It is something to keep exploring, slowly, through the body and the breath.

What happens when we soften just a little more?

What opens when we stop bracing and begin to feel?

How does the world respond when we meet it with less force?

The Way doesn’t announce itself.

But it’s always there, waiting in the softness.

***

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By Oliver Herzfeld

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